The Chaste Life

couple holding each other

It breaks my heart to see this world prioritize freedom of expression over the welfare and needs of children. I feel like I’m part of an extremely selfish generation; our sense of entitlement is out of control… I should know… I was addicted to pornography and masturbation for over ten years, no sugar-coating the facts. During that time, I knew it was bad for me and degrading to women, and yet I persisted in my sin. For my punishment, I had no freedom or peace. But I covered up my unhappiness with a very weak band-aid of escapism.

Believe me, I’ve been hurt by women so much I can understand why anyone would be turned off by the opposite sex… why someone would want to swear off women or men altogether. But while I’ve seen the dark side of each gender, I’ve also seen the beautiful and the good. It’s hard to put into words, but we are wonderfully complementary—women and men fit together like matching puzzle pieces… not just physically but also emotionally and psychologically. To be a man or a woman is a gift; to be joined together in holy matrimony and create children is also a gift. God is the most Masterful Artist and Bestower of Blessings. That will never change.

I want to encourage you that there’s nothing wrong with living a single, chaste life. Our oversexualized culture rushes us. And there’s nothing wrong with big Catholic families either—having many children—if it is God’s Will. Our materialistic culture tells us to put our careers first and to acquire as much money and possessions as we can. I think that in the pursuit of fleeting, unsustainable pleasures, many people are so lonely and tired. Do we even know what family means anymore?

I think this is what people are trying to fix with same-sex unions and radical feminism… the brokenness of humanity. They want to find another way that works, because it didn’t exactly work for them. Such a revisionist view defies common sense. It becomes sterile, because without heterosexual relations, there can be no children, and without children, there can be no families. So what they’re trying to save ends up getting harmed even more. Can you see how a culture that does not value its children will want to get a vasectomy?

People want choices, especially easy, convenient ones. We want what “feels right” in the moment. An instant gratification, fast food, luxury buffet diet without gaining any weight (is that even possible?). But I tell you, I’m at my most miserable when I try to do things my stupid way. This is one of the reasons why I know there’s a God and that He loves us… He didn’t leave me in the prison of my poor, crazy choices.

It’s been three years of sobriety and freedom—my desire for porn is no longer there. By God’s grace, it’s like a demon was expelled from my soul! The chaste life is beautiful, because you can be more open to God’s surprises… maybe that will include marriage someday, where being chaste means fidelity to a spouse. But I understand better now than to limit God to what I think I want, or to what I think is best for me. He truly knows me better than I know myself… His love made me and my heart seeks Him through this life’s noise and confusion.

I’d like to leave you with this video message that I saw on Facebook last night. It gave me much hope that God is sending His saints through our youth. Will you be one too?


A child of Jesus and Mary.

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