Prayer in the Midst of Heartache

Sorry, I haven’t written a personal post in a while. So many things have been going on in my life that it takes real effort to settle down all the noise. I found some peace today while stopping by the Blessed Sacrament chapel. This was crucial, prior to engaging in some “park evangelization” for a few hours as a member of St. Paul Street Evangelization.

I think this was my third time visiting Charles H. Wilson Park in Torrance. The last time was Thanksgiving Day 2015. I met a woman named Olga who was walking with her caretaker Anne. She wanted my contact info and actually called me several times to thank me for being there and providing prayer materials for her. This afternoon, I thought I’d try the park again to see if I could find her, but no luck.

It was a tough crowd. One woman, trying to get me to leave, said that I wasn’t allowed to sell things without a permit. I had to reassure her that nothing was for sale, and that I wasn’t asking for donations.

For the most part though, I was ignored by the park visitors. Perhaps because they were already turned off by a Jehovah’s Witness who was preaching on the other side? I don’t know. Rather than chase people or force them into conversation, I decided to pray. I would pray for each one passing me by (and give them a smile). This was an important lesson for me, because prayer became an act of mercy. I could have suffered the rejection and become bitter, but I decided to love in silence.

Sometimes words are necessary though… I recognized a woman from my very first time at the park. She just stayed in her car, before driving off. I felt that I should have gone over and talked to her, to ask her how she was doing. She was the one who had asked me, “Why do you suppose some prayers go unanswered?” I replied that God knows better than we do what’s good for us and sometimes we ask for the wrong things. In hindsight, that was a bit insensitive of me. I should have asked her about her life, if everything was okay. I didn’t know her situation, and that’s key to reaching out to someone. It’s also simple human decency. In our fast-paced, wi-fi culture, we tend to become superficial in our interactions.

I think God is leading me to a quiet place, where I can pray. He is the One Who brings about conversions. I need to cooperate with the Holy Spirit more, in imitation of the Blessed Mother. It should be about God’s Will, not mine.

Recently, I was reading the private revelation given to Barbara Rose Centilli from God the Father. This entry from June 19, 1999 really moved me, and I’ll close with that…

BARBARA: Dearest sweetest Father: We’ve had illness in our household, and more heartache with….

THE FATHER: Dawn breaks, little one, on a new day. Say with Me the following:

My Father waits for me longingly,
His eyes shine with the light of His love,
From His mighty and merciful heart
Comes a love song to His children,
Played out in the universe of His smile,
Every chord, every note, playing gently on the wind.
Vibrating each and every heart.

Listen My children and you will hear. Listen and learn to love. Now be at peace, daughter of My heart. Be at peace—Shalom.

I, then, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love, striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace: one body and one Spirit, as you were also called to the one hope of your call; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, Who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 4:1-6)

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